I’m taking an internet fast over Holy Weekend and it may just kill me. Starting when I go to sleep tonight till Monday morning, I’m taking a break. Oh, don’t be impressed. Its a rather ugly gift to my Savior.

I mean, I had  these precious 13 days at home to catch up on so much YM stuff…which has been reduced to only 10 days  since I just threw in a last minute trip next week. Even as I type this, I keep thinking of all the things I won’t finish in time before tonight: my next Group magazine column, a blog for @ymarchitects  (and I’m already a week late), preparing for two workshops in LA next week to small church youth workers, documents I’m writing for next week’s visit to Highland Park Pres, blah-blah-blah. The way my workaholic mind works, apparently the youth ministry world may just fall apart without my input over these next three days.

How ridiculous am I? Geez! That’s the ugliness of the gift. Maybe it comes from a trashy place of enjoying my need-to-be- needed by small church peeps. I’m not the only youth worker with a blog who occasionally operates from this dirty thinking.

Honest? At first, I will think about getting online to check this or that about 60 times an hour. I will want to talk myself into going online just to see what the weather’s doing or send out a batch of electronic Easter cards. And about the time I’ve finally relaxed and feel comfortable with a change of life-rhythm, the fast will be over. My ministry work world will return.

And it just may kill me. Not physically, but maybe a portion of that alter ego will die off. Perhaps I’ll see that while I was taking a break, so were the rest of my ministry peeps who were also focusing on what really matters:

The Life that lived, died and lives again so that I can live, die and live again. His beauty from my ugly.

YM friends, this IS my Easter greeting.

Stephanie