Help a girl out! I’m working on my third session of my Small Church Youth Ministry track at the upcoming Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Louisville the first weekend of March. Post your ideas in the comments here. My brain is fried and so its time for me to pick yours!

…and I didn’t write it. But its good and its raining and its Saturday and I’m in a “feel good” state of mind.

Thanks to my friend, Cheryl Moles, who is a proud mom (and the Dir of Chr. Ed at Central Pres in Terre Haute) who passed her son’s blog on to me. Meet Brian Moles from 2nd Pres. in Nashville, who reminds us of why we do what we do. “My Perfect Sunday.”

http://bmoles.blogspot.com

#4 – Let Ephesians 4:29 be the measuring stick for our posts, tweets, emails, etc.

I’m up early. The reason? I was really disturbed by the number of negative comments made by people in ministry about yesterday’s half-time show. I am hurt and discouraged.

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve never been a purchaser of Madonna’s CDs.  But the comments about her age, relevancy, past-her-prime…were hurtful. To whom, you may wonder?

To the Youth Watching With Us: If the same negative comments on Facebook and Twitter were made out loud to the students gathered around us watching the half-time show, then our students will think its OK to be mean because “well, she’s not one of us.”

To Madonna: She and so many others are watching us for the love we show. They know our motto is “Love Jesus – Love each other.” I don’t think yesterday was collectively our best example of that.

To Me: I am the same age as Madonna. The many comments about her age from ministry people made me wonder: Are you also saying I’m too old, too? Am I irrelevant? Have I crossed an unseen finished youth ministry line where my gifts are no longer valid, needed, necessary? Let me know because I’ll learn to knit or start playing Bingo if that’s the case.

Don’t worry; I know I’m among the chief of sinners in having a quick tongue. I’m examining myself, too. One thing I do know: no one is built up when we criticize and post with negativity.

Is this post negative? I hope you won’t see it this way; I thought about it all night and decided that I wanted you to know. I am posting with love. Really truly.

Stephanie

PS-And thanks to all of you who followed our mothers’ motto: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Don’t sell Jesus short.

I spent the weekend with a church in a faith tradition I am fairly new to. They have a rich heritage of liturgical worship. But if one made the mistake of thinking this church’s denom is bereft of showing feelings of faith or the goodness of God, one would be wrong.

The YP of this church had a similar epiphany today. She has a deep love for Jesus but thought her diverse international students would be uncomfortable with referencing anyone but “God.” After all, they don’t declare an emotional faith and “Jesus” is just too intimate, right?

After she had a discussion with my ministry partner, Adam DeVries, she told her students she was going to unashamedly call Jesus by his name. How shocked and delighted she was when they were happy for her AND them. They cheered.

My point? Don’t sell Jesus short in your youth ministry. Kids KNOW when they come near you that there’s a good chance they’re going to hear about God. They’re even disappointed when they don’t.

Remember: Jesus is the name of the one to whom everyone will bow. It’s just a matter of when.

S

#6 is “Buy some buy-in.”

The youth ministry isn’t yours. It belongs to God and is played out through your church. If you constantly find yourself with too many ideas from others but not enough help, I suspect your buy-in tank is on E.

Here are 3 ways to fill increase support:
1) Don’t tell the church your plans. Ask them their plans and work the youth ministry into their vision. Much easier to get help from people you’d never expect when they’re excited.
2) Recruit intentional cheerleaders. Find people with influence in other areas of the church. Ask them to champion the cause of YM with the people in their spheres. Ask them to listen for ways the YM can do the same in return.
3) Communicate! You’d be surprised how little those people outside the YM know about what’s happening. People in churches get weird when they think they’re in the dark or out of the loop. Especially staff.

OK, my plane is about to land so I gotta scoot. More tomorrow.

Stephanie

Why do small churches fight it? It is so simple, just do it! Yet, when I go into churches to do an assessment, this is a gaping hole on the  ”we haven’t done that yet” list. Geez, churches!

Background checks. Whether its the “we don’t want to offend Miss Donna who has been teaching since 1915″ or the “do we really have to spend the money?” to “What if we find something wrong” excuses…it has to be done. Did you know that a registered sex offender attempts to join into the work of a non-profit organization every 43 minutes.

Read what my friend, Matthew Fry, had to say about his experience at his new rural church:

My best example of this is with doing background checks on volunteers. When I came on staff I asked what the policy was. They stated that they usually called the police station, when one of their friends was working, and they would run the name through the system. I then asked them what kind of documentation we would have on file to prove we had done a background check if we ever needed to prove it. I was met with a blank stare. It was as if I was speaking a foreign language. I informed them that completing the checks and having the results on file helps protect everyone involved: the church, our students and our volunteer leaders. I have been met time after time with various excuses as to why we don’t need to do them. Many deal with the very fact that we’re a small church. That everyone knows everyone. That they’re an unnecessary expenditure. And even “the people serving here have been going here for years.”

I’ve tried convincing them that we’re one incident away from losing a brand new building. I’ve tried to convince them that there are people in the world who prey on organizations, like ours, that are naive to our responsibilities. I’ve tried convincing them that ignorance isn’t an excuse if we were ever to need to defend ourselves in court. I’ve tried my best to break this mindset that we’re not a church of 30-40, but we’re an average size church without the policies in place to protect ourselves.

Is it still considered flirting with disaster if you pretender that a disaster couldn’t happen to you?

Yep, that’s my rant du jour.

Stephanie

#8 Get Help! There are youth folks who may know just a little bit more than you. Talk with them. Don’t be afraid of outside help. Bring people in to observe and assess what you’re doing. Find someone in your area who’s got the YM thing going on and bring them in. Seek wise counsel. Read resources. Teach/train your volunteers.

Here’s a shameless plug but still VERY heartfelt on my part:
1) Simply Youth Ministry has resources for the small church YM. Check out the book tabs above. Read Group’s Small Church Column. Follow this blog. Find others doing small church stuff.

2) Youth Ministry Architects (Mark DeVries’ organization) has started a new division, Small Church Ministry Architects…and I get to be its Director since I love all things Small Church. We serve churches with #150 or less in worship with their children’s, youth, Discipleship, Christian Education ministries. Its the same great YMA Sustainable stuff only sized for the smaller church’s needs.

Here’s a link: http://ymarchitects.com/small-church-ministry-architects/

Stephanie

Get Group Magazine.

That’s it. Not a cheap sales ploy for Group but because it’s good, relevant, keeps aging youth workers current, keeps young youth workers wise, and connects us all.

There’s a column dedicated to small church youth ministry.

S

Spend more time face-to-face with adults than you do with your students. 

I mean it and its a tough thing to do. See, most church leadership boards think just the opposite. They say they want you to relate best with students (though that only holds up till you don’t get your paperwork done), but the truth is: there’s only so much of you to go around.

But really, if you invested the largest majority of the time you have for ministry each week on finding and equipping volunteers, plus making sure that parents are resourced for their child’s faith walk – you’d have WAY more significant spiritual results than if you spent all your time with just your youth. Makes sense when you think about it, doesn’t it?

You’re not hearing me say to neglect one-on-one time with the students. I’m just asking you to examine how you carve up the pie of your time. The largest piece should go to what it takes for investing in volunteers and parents.

Simple. Or not.

S

I really want to know; I’m working on some national conference stuff. As smaller church youth ministry is becoming more of a visible sub-ministry area, I want to stay on top of what challenges other youth workers face getting to youth workers training conferences. So…answer away! PLEASE!